Getting There

I should have checked in by now...

It's been three-weeks-plus since the surgery. The cut is healing up fine and I am feeling gradually better as it gradually heals. The bones are now in place (lined up), and now it is just a matter of time and waiting. I'm supposed to be able to work by May. It hasn't been without a few Episodes of extremely bad feeling in general, but I suppose that is to be expected.

I picked up a guitar a week ago for the first time since Jan 4 and was humbled to the core. Wow.

My left hand, having been in a sling/next to my body for 7 weeks just did not know what to make of the feel of the strings. I couldn't even finger anything! It hurt. The wrist was stiff, yes, but the fingers were so tender and weak... Humility thy name is down time.

So that was basically very depressing, but the good news is that I've been out of the sling since the 21st and the left arm can now hang and swing and that improves blood flow to the hand, etc.

I played some piano this week and even used the left hand a little bit. I broke out the silver flute for the first time as well, but that will take some time. The proper playing position of the left hand is problematic for me - I can't lift that far up, or at all, really. If I duck my head way down I can play a little, but that will have to wait.

I picked up the nylon string again today and it felt better than last week - alot better, but I still have no endurance. I literally can't lift the left arm to change fret positions and the chording fingers are really weak.

None of this is a surprise, of course, but it has certainly got my full attention.

The one thing I can say is that I also picked up the shakuhachi tonight and was able to play for a while. Where my left hand rests is fortunately right where it needs to be to play, and most of the weight is supported by the right hand below the left.

So I warmed up a bit and then played "Kyorei". One of the three oldest Honkyoku, and a perfect piece for my condition. It doesn't "do" a whole lot as far as technique, but is very meditative and when you have to work so hard just to play one note, the few notes that are there seem to take on added significance.

This whole experience I think is going to shed new light for me on "the approach". If our notes are not in infinite supply, but are numbered (in the greater picture), then great care should be placed on selection and choice. (Seemingly) infinite notes are pretty meaningless anyway. Its not enough to stand up there and freak out. There has to be something else behind them, propping them up, giving shape and direction. Language yes, but conjuring up some specific, open feeling is the goal. You know it when you hear it. And you also know it when it is destroyed by a barrage of notes. It is a very fragile, mysterious thing.

So, nice and slow, easy does it. I'm not in a hurry. I want to get back, but I also want to learn from this time whatever it has to teach me.